Monday, January 17, 2011

Aidan's New T-Shirt

"You always have that stupid dog on you," Rex accused me this morning when I tried to get him to come sit with me for a little bit.

"Come on, Rex. I love you," I entreated, avoiding the issue. "Let me pet you."

He turned his back on me. "Always that stupid dog, doing all the stuff I used to do. Sleeps in your bed, helps you in the kitchen, sits on your lap," he grumbled to himself. "You like him better than me."

That was not true at all, but there was no way I was going to be able to convince Rex of that. I tried to pet him but he dodged my hand. "Please, Rex. I miss you," I coaxed.

Right at that moment Aidan saw me with Rex and came scurrying over to make sure I wasn't forgetting that he existed and that he was, by his estimation, far more important than some cat that, from his perspective, appeared one day out of nowhere. He planted himself by my side, glancing at Rex dismissively before looking at me.

"I like nacho cheese sauce," he said, thoughtfully.

"I'm done here," said Rex, coldly, walking away.

"Oh, good. He's gone," said Aidan, watching him go.

I sighed, slightly irritated. I could hear Rex jingling down the hallway.

"I'm mad, by the way," he meowed from out of sight, in case I hadn't realized that.

I looked over at Aidan, the source of my pet woes. I wasn't exactly pleased with his antics, but I knew it wasn't his fault that he had the mentality of a human 2-year-old. "Well, Aidan," I said. "If we're going to the store you probably want to wear a shirt, huh? That one you have is dirty. You want to wear one of mine?" I went to fetch an old t-shirt out of the box I've been throwing junk I don't need into as I unpack, Aidan jogging happily behind me.

"Do you like the Justice League?" I asked.

Aidan looked the shirt up and down approvingly, sitting still so I could try it on him. It was too big, so I took it off. Aidan fidgeted. He wanted the shirt back.

"We just need to make it fit you first," I told him. I didn't know where my scissors were so I went into the kitchen to get a knife, Aidan trotting along behind me, anxiously eying his shirt. I started by tearing off the sleeves.

"You're gonna look like Davey with no sleeves, huh?" I said, smiling at him and holding up the shirt.

Aidan wagged his tail.

It still didn't fit so I took it off again, sitting on the tile floor with the knife to butcher the cloth. Aidan sat by, watching his shirt. After a few more adjustments and shirt fittings, the shirt was about as good as I could make it look without scissors or sewing skills. The back end flapped around his legs ludicrously, but I couldn't bear to separate Aidan from his new shirt any longer to fix it. He looked so disappointed every time I took it off of him. Rex peered at me around the corner as I inspected the garment.

"I'm still mad," he reminded before withdrawing from view once more. I sighed.

Our housemate, Dan, came into the kitchen to get some coffee.

"I'm trying to make Aidan a shirt but I need scissors to cut off that crap at the end," I said, explaining why I was sitting on the floor with Aidan and a steak knife, staring at the pug's rump.

"I have scissors," said Dan, who is very helpful. He brought them out and we circled around the pug. I held him still while Dan cut off the loose ends. Aidan squirmed a little bit, but for the most part he patiently bore the annoyance in the name of beauty. The scissors were dull, so it took a long time.

"Hey, what are you doing to that dog?" Rex meowed curiously as we toiled away at trimming Aidan's shirt. I could tell he was hoping it was something awful. He slunk up next to me. "Oh. It's just his dumb shirt." He turned around and left, muttering to himself about Aidan and his stupid outfits.

"I feel very handsome," Aidan announced once the tailoring of his garment was finished. He gave a little wiggle to get it comfortable. "Aren't I handsome in this shirt?" he asked. He looked like a redneck, but the important part was that he thought he looked good.

"You look very nice, Aidan," I said. He wagged his tail.

I smiled at him and went to go to the bathroom. I stopped when I spotted Rex in the living room. "Hey, sweetie. Wanna come with me while I brush my teeth?" I invited. He looked like he was considering it until...

"Oh, hey. Are we going to the bathroom now?" asked Aidan, appearing behind me. "Let's go. Also, I love you."

Rex blinked and settled back down on the floor. "No," he said. "I would rather sit here in the middle of the carpet doing nothing than be in the same room as that stupid dog."

"I love you, Rex," I cajoled.

"Whatever," he grouched, ending the conversation.

And that's where things stand with the pets now. Aidan is doing everything in his power to keep the attention on him. Rex is wandering around the house, sulking and giving me mean looks when he sees me with the dog, who I can't shake off long enough to spend some alone time with my cat. I'll have to write more later about their ridiculous antics when they first met, but for the time being, I'm going to get Aidan out of the house so he can impress everyone with his new shirt.

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